Me Being You
by NeonDomino
Summary: Remus wishes that Sirius could be him for just one day, just so Sirius can see how hard things can be. Bodyswap!AU.


Written for:

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry** \- Assignment 7 - Zoology Task 1 - Task #1 - Corgi: Write about someone wanting to be the center of attention

(So, this was originally written for Quidditch League, but not submitted for it. The prompt there was to write about a character becoming aware of prejudices and/or social inequality.)

Seasonal:

Days of the Month - 10th December: Human Rights Day: Write about someone treating someone 'different' than them equal.

Colour - 4. Periwinkle

Autumn - 16. (theme) Change

Birthstones - 9. Sugilite - (dialogue) "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."

Flowers - 1. Crocus - (theme) Chaos

Tarot Cards - 5. Three of Swords - Write about moving on from something.

Air - 3. (word) Gentle

Bake a Cake - Butter: [Era] Marauders

Ravenclaw Theme - Trait: Arrogant

Star Chart Challenge - October 27th: Uranus at Opposition: Prompt: Word: Opposite

Religious Holidays - 4: 30th September: Rosh HaShanah Starts (Jewish) - Action: Shouting

History of Autumn - 16. Word: Mature

Writing Club

Assorted Appreciation - 24. "I've got something real for you to freak out about."

Trope of the Month - 9. Word: Style

All Sorts of Space - 10. Sirius Black - Write about an animagus. Alternatively, write about Sirius Black.

Showtime - 10. Revenge Party - (relationship) Friends

Sophie's Shelf - 15. Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous - Good Charlotte - Prompt: (dialogue) "You're always complaining."

Liza's Loves - 1. Dialogue: "I don't think you're a waste of space."

Angel's Archives - Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst - write someone having an unlucky day.

Scamander's Case - 1.2 - (word) crush

Bex's Basement - 1. "Monsters don't get to live happily ever after."

Film Festival - 19. (word) restriction

Marvel Appreciation - 7, Jane Foster - Write about waiting for someone or something.

Lyric Alley - 12. I've been pushing for this for so long

Supermarket Sweep -

9\. Colouring Book - Marauders Era

Game Night

Left hand - 8. Solving a problem that occurred.

Left foot - 5. "I need you to leave." / "But I-" / "Leave!"

Pop Figure:

Foggy Nelson

1\. Hair - (character) Sirius Black

2\. Case file - (word) paperwork

3\. Suit - (word) dapper

4\. Avocado - (food) avocado

What's Cooking -

17 - Beef Brisket: (restriction) only male characters

* * *

**Me Being You**

**Wolfstar - **_warnings for mild language. Do I warn for naked Sirius?_

Also a note - I'm participating in GGE 2020. GGE is Gift-Giving Extravaganza. It's basically me writing fics for anyone who requests one. So, if you want a fic written for you, the link is on my profile. Just make a list of pairings and prompts and you get a fic sometime in 2020 in return!

* * *

"Me and Regulus had a falling out _again_," Sirius whines, dropping down onto the sofa, his arm over his face. "We're never going to talk again - he's always so brutish."

James and Remus share a look before Remus returns to his book. James is a little more sympathetic however. "It's alright mate, he'll come around."

Remus suspects James will be rushing to Regulus' house as soon as just to assure Regulus of the same thing. He wonders to himself if Regulus is also stretched out on his own sofa complaining to his friends about Sirius, or if Regulus handles the situations better.

"You don't understand," Sirius whines, sounding on the verge of tears… something that used to make Remus sympathetic towards him, until Sirius started doing it daily. "He was cruel, uncaring.. He sneered at my clothes!" He glances out from under his arm, clearly expecting a massive reaction. Getting none, he hides his face once more.

James looks back towards Remus, but Remus doesn't meet his gaze. James should know better than to encourage this behaviour. Sirius perceives the smallest slight as though the world is ending, and it's best to ignore this.

Remus knows Sirius is waiting for attention to be heaped onto him because he is under the insane assumption that his life is 'so hard' and 'falling apart' and 'the worst life ever' Whilst his clothes are nice, Remus assumes Regulus was just teasing or winding Sirius up, knowing Sirius will react this way.

Remus isn't going to indulge this. Sirius may have had a hard upbringing and for that, Remus is in fact _sympathetic_, but at the same time, Sirius doesn't seem to realise how good he actually has it. He's a Pureblood for starters and disowned or not, people know what family he's from and make sure to treat him accordingly. On top of that, Sirius has a good job, an excellent group of friends who would do anything for him and a date pretty much every weekend (though for some reason, he keeps asking Remus out). Sirius wants for nothing and sometimes Remus wishes that Sirius could really understand how hard life can actually be. Their lives are completely the opposite and if Sirius could just see through Remus' eyes for one day...

Not that he _really_ wants Sirius to go through hardships. He just wants Sirius to understand. Just for Sirius to see that there are always people who have it worse.

~O~

Remus finishes his monthly meeting with the Werewolf Registry. They claim to want to ensure the health of the Werewolves under their "care" but he knows that it's just them keeping tabs. They want to ensure he's transforming somewhere safe, taking the right precautions to protect those around him. They want to make sure he hasn't killed anyone. He can feel the magic in the room, influencing him to tell the truth when they ask questions. Once he saw someone come into the office ahead of him but never come back out and he wonders what that person had said. That thought stays with him with each meeting.

He hates these meetings. This one started almost an hour late, causing him to miss his appointment with Werewolf Support Services which is now rescheduled for tomorrow. They'll send him on a couple of interviews (even though he has a job) and then claim that they do all they can to support his kind. Truthfully, the jobs will be ones no-one else will ever consider.

Remus heads towards the Auror offices in search of Sirius and James. No-one can cheer him up like the pair can - and Peter of course, but Peter is working in Diagon Alley and is keeping to unusual hours which makes it hard to meet - and it's almost lunchtime. Hopefully they're free to go out for a bite to eat.

Kingsley Shacklebolt is near the door as Remus enters. "They're at Sirius' desk," he offers before taking long strides across the room, clutching a manilla file tightly in his hands.

Remus walks over, finding the pair messing around with a strange blue putty instead of working. They both straighten and Sirius smiles widely, the unnecessary drama from the previous day forgotten. "Moony," he says, reaching to fix his hair where dark strands have begun to fall from his bun. "Looking good today."

"Hey. Are you both free for lunch?" Remus asks. Sirius left the house that morning with him and knew exactly what Remus had been wearing that day, but he still can't help the smile. It's nice to have a compliment and Sirius only ever has kind things to say to him. He doesn't often give other people compliments and it makes Remus feel special, like these words are only for him.

James glances towards the Head Auror's office, but Sirius is already grabbing his leather jacket. "Always for you," he says silkily. "James is probably busy, so…" Remus doesn't miss the pointed look Sirius gives James.

He's used to Sirius' flirting. But that's all it'll ever be. Sirius doesn't know what it's like to be something like him, and if they ever did date, Sirius would be in for a shock at how the world would treat him. Remus doesn't want to be the cause of that because he could lose Sirius forever by taking that risk. It's not worth it.

James sighs slightly but nods. "Paperwork," he lies.

Sirius throws an arm around Remus' shoulder and leads him to the door. "I know this Italian place on the high-street," he begins.

"How about Wetherspoons?" Remus suggests instead.

"Cheap and cheerful? I like it!"

Sirius pulls the door open, his eyes on Remus as he does so. As he goes to walk through, he collides with an Auror-Apprentice. Two odd looking stones fall to the floor from the teen's gloved hands, and Remus quickly reaches down to retrieve one, Sirius grabbing the other before the boy can even right himself.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Black," the boy says, clearly terrified as he realises who he's almost knocked over. "I didn't mean to… are you okay? I shouldn't even be talking to you." The boy seems on the verge of a panic attack and though Sirius smiles reassuringly, Remus can't really hear what the boy is saying. He's in awe that this is Sirius Black - another person fawning over Sirius but Remus knows that when they get home later, Sirius will be complaining about how this guy bumped into him amidst other things.

_'I wish Sirius could spend a day in my life. He'd see how hard things really are,' _he thinks to himself. The thought is fleeting however, and he regrets it the moment it crosses his mind. He wants Sirius to have a happy life more than anything. When Sirius is happy, Remus is happy.

The stone vibrates in his hand and he quickly passes it back. "Lunch," he insists. The wish is forgotten as he glances as his friend.

Sirius drops the other stone into the boy's other hand and quickly follows.

~O~

Sirius stretches out in bed, frustrated. He's woken up with Remus on his mind, which isn't new. He often thinks of Remus first thing in the morning. Remus is also the last thing on his mind when he's trying to sleep.

And most of the time in between waking and sleeping again. He can't help it - he's in love and has been for the longest time now.

Sometimes he thinks Remus feels the same. Just the way Remus looks at him sometimes tells him that Remus wants more too, but Remus never lets things go any further than friendship and Sirius doesn't know what to do to show Remus he's serious about them. He doesn't want to push at Remus or wear him down into saying yes. He wants Remus to say yes because Remus feels the same.

He rolls over in bed, hoping for a bit more sleep, but can't seem to get comfortable. His pillows seem a little flatter than usual and his cover is heavier, which feels a little odd. As he turns over once more, he hears James start singing in the shower.

Sirius sighs. James is always the first one out of bed. He's the only person Sirius knows who is crazy enough to wake up at the first alarm rather than snooze it a bunch of times and try to grab an extra few minutes.

He has a quick stretch before getting out of bed himself, giving up on having those few extra minutes. But as he gets out, he feels the fabric against his skin and wonders why he's wearing pyjamas when he's _sure _he fell asleep naked. Maybe that's why he felt like the cover was heavier? Because the additional layer of clothing?

It's not until he's climbing out of the bed, does he realise that he's not in his own room - his own bed. The walls here are cream whereas Sirius' room has bold reds and browns on the wall. There's an overflowing bookcase and an old chair in one corner that hadn't been in Sirius' room before. He turns, confused, spotting Remus' sheets and the periwinkle blanket Remus' mother made him last Christmas. It takes him longer than it should to realise that he's in Remus' room and not his own, and he blames his sleep-addled state for it. But there's another question on his mind: did he fall asleep in the wrong room?

That must be it - maybe he got up for the loo in the night and walked back to the wrong room and Remus was too nice to wake him - Remus is probably in his bedroom now, asleep in his bed, snuggled right underneath his duvet looking adorable and peaceful with his hair a mess.

Sirius quickly leaves the room. He wants to see what Remus looks like sleeping in his bed.

~O~

"What the hell?"

The man in his bed jumps up, startled, and Sirius stares at his duplicate. The man is nude and identical to him in every way. "Who are you?" Sirius asks as he reaches for his wand. It's not in his pocket so he grabs the hairbrush from the top of the counter, pointing it at the stranger. "James!?"

The stranger stares back, mouth gaping. "W...what?" he asks, sounding completely confused. "Why… why…" he can't seem to get his words out, but Sirius isn't sympathetic in the slightest. This man is impersonating him and Sirius doesn't like it at all. There can't be two Sirius Blacks in the world - the world can barely manage one.

"Who're you and why do you look like me?" Sirius demands. The hairbrush extended as a makeshift weapon. He suspects it'll hurt if he throws it at the man, but he wants answers first.

"I should be asking you that," the other man says. "What's happening?"

James barges into the room, wand drawn. He looks between the pair before turning his gaze away. "Fuck'sake Sirius, cover yourself. No-one wants to see your tiny cock."

The stranger looks between the pair for a long moment and as though something dawns on him, he slowly looks down before letting out a yelp and grabbing a pillow. "Why am I naked?" he sounds appalled at the idea. "Where are my pyjamas?"

James catches Sirius' gaze. "Moony, you okay? You sounded shaken when you shouted - is it because Sirius' dick is so small that you could barely see it?" he gives Sirius a nudge. "I'm getting back in the shower."

"Yeah I'm sure you are - you've been trying to get a peek for years," Sirius mutters. "Better not be thinking of my cock when you're under the water."

James freezes and turns. "Remus?" he says, uncertainly now. He looks extremely worried.

"Yes?" the stranger says, still clutching the pillow. James' head turns sharply and he looks between the two of them.

"Crap," James mutters, realising dawning on his face. "Guys, I've got something real for you to freak out about." He pauses, but the pair just stare at him, waiting.

I'm guessing you're really Sirius?" he says to Sirius, who nods. James turns back to the dark-haired wizard clutching the pillow. "Remus, look in the mirror." He closes the door so that Remus can see his reflection in the mirror hanging on the back of the door. Remus stares in shock at the reflection.

Sirius turns back to the stranger - who he now knows is Remus. "Like what you see?" he asks, smirking. "You can have another look if you really want, I don't mind."

Remus blushes and it's a strange sight on Sirius' cheeks. "Get out," Remus orders. "I need to…"

James snickers. "Want me to finish that sentence for you?"

"I need to get dressed," Remus snaps. "Leave. I need you to leave."

"But I-" Sirius is enjoying flustered Remus all too much to want to go anywhere.

"Leave!"

Sirius reluctantly does as he's told. He can't wait to go through Remus' clothes and pick his favourites to wear for the day. As he heads back to Remus' room, he wonders if Remus is going to take a peek.

~O~

"Okay, I've called into work and explained," James says when they've all gathered in the kitchen for breakfast. Sirius' turn to cook and he's chosen toast with avocado on top - a recipe from one of his books and he's glad to see Remus is enjoying it. . James is already dressed for work, looking very dapper in the suit he often pulls on, as opposed to the torn jeans and leather jacket Sirius usually opts for. "Remus, can you cancel your plans? We can try and find a solution?" James asks.

Remus shakes his head, frowning as dark hair falls into his grey eyes. He pushes it back behind his shoulder and Sirius wonders why Remus hasn't carefully brushed it yet. It's one of the first things Sirius does each morning - it's why his hair is always so perfect - because he spends ages on it. He swallows his bite of food before replying. "I have to go to Werewolf Support Services. If I don't go today, they'll make my life twice as difficult."

Sirius holds his tongue at this. Remus doesn't have it easy, but sometimes he thinks Remus just likes to wallow in his own misery and that things can't really be as bad as he thinks they are.

Still, if this meeting causes Remus stress - and Remus can't cancel… "I'll go in your place," he offers.

Remus begins to shake his head. Dark hair falls in his eyes again and Sirius can see he's getting annoyed at it. He resists the urge to fix it. It's Remus' problem for the day, not his. Still, he retrieves a hairband from his wrist and hands it over, watching Remus slip it on his own wrist after a moment's hesitation.

"I can't let you do that," Remus insists, his fingers gently pulling at the hairband. "I'll… think of something. I'll have to… I'll have to go there like this and explain what's happened…"

"Look, it'll be a breeze, simple really - I'll be in and out," Sirius pushes.

Remus' eyes narrow slightly. "You think it'll be easy?" he checks. When Sirius nods, Remus does too, though his nods are slower as he considers the situation. "Okay, you're on. You go to my appointment and pretend to be me. I'll come and wait in the waiting room in case you need me. But you have to act like me."

"What do you really think will happen that I'll need you, have some faith in me," Sirius tells him, slightly offended that Remus doesn't trust him to do a good job.

Remus shrugs. "Okay. Well, I'll head in with James and we can try and work out what's happened to us whilst you do the appointment for me."

Sirius grins. A day in the life of Remus Lupin. This is going to be a piece of cake. Chocolate cake.

~O~

The Ministry seems more crowded than usual, as the tenth person pushes roughly past Sirius without so much as an apology or a backward glance. Sirius isn't used to this and he really hates it. He can't help but wonder why these people are in more of a rush than usual - this never usually happens.

The morning doesn't seem to be going his way. In their usual coffee shop, the tea he ordered wasn't made as he usually likes, though Remus seemed to really enjoy his own cup. The server gave him the smaller of the croissants in the display and Remus got the largest one there. Not that Sirius would complain outright on this occasion because he knows if he did, Remus would hand it over without question. Just lots of little things seem wrong today.

He joins the others as they line up to have their wands checked in the Atrium. He stands with Remus, his arm over Remus' shoulders as he waits. It feels a little odd since Remus looks like Sirius, but he's fine with that, also he's used to being a couple of inches shorter than Remus, so being this bit taller feels like a nice change. Despite him holding his wand out first, the man at the counter takes James'. Then, ignoring him once more, takes the wand Remus is offering.

Sirius doesn't comment, but patiently waits his turn - he usually goes first in the line so isn't sure what's happening. But once the other two have been seen to and Remus walks over to where James is waiting a few steps past the post, the man glances his way, taking his wand and doing the checks.

Did they always take this long? Sirius wonders, as the man takes his time.

Finally the wand is returned to him and he turns to follow the others towards the lifts. As he does, he hears the man's sneering tones. "Beasts don't need a wand, I don't see why we let _that type_ learn magic." His colleague laughs. "Creatures like that shouldn't even be allowed inside here," the second man says.

Sirius begins to turn. He must have misheard the man, but Remus has a hold on his arm. "Come on."

"But he said—" Sirius begins, wanting to turn back and say something - anything - to defend Remus.

"Yes, just keep walking."

Sirius pulls his arm away, frowning. "You're not surprised?"

Remus rolls his eyes. "Of course not. They say that sort of thing every time."

"And you don't say anything back? You don't make a complaint?" Sirius is even more shocked now - Remus comes in with him and James often and he can't believe he's never noticed before.

"It's futile. They could refuse me entrance to the Ministry - they're looking for a reason to turn me away so I don't give them any. It's not like I haven't heard these comments elsewhere. I guess I'm just used to it. Besides, who would I complain to?"

"Us," Sirius says. He tries to think of other people who could help, but they don't have those connections at the ministry. Not yet anyway.

"You both have other things to worry about. You don't need me complaining just because someone said something hurtful," Remus points out. "At the end of the day, it's not nice, but other people have it a lot worse than me and I just try and keep that in mind." He reaches for Sirius' arm again and pulls him along. "Please, let's just drop it."

"What a waste of space," someone mutters as they get into the lift.

Remus' hold tightens and Sirius realises that it's not to keep Sirius at bay, it's because Remus is trying to stay calm himself. He leans towards Remus' ear, ignoring the dark hair tickling his nose.

"I don't think you're a waste of space," he whispers softly. "I never have and never will think that."

He sees Remus' lips twitch upwards at the words and his grip loosens slightly.

"Thank you," Remus whispers back.

~O~

"I have a job," Sirius says as he meets with Archibald Smith, head of the Werewolf Support Services. He's seen the man around the Ministry before, but the man doesn't smile at him this time. Maybe because Sirius is not in his own body. Sirius is now starting to see the difference in how he's being treated, since the incident in the Atrium. He's more aware of how people are acting towards him. Even to the point where people wouldn't stand near him in the lifts. Their judgement is based solely on Remus' lycanthropy and nothing else, and Sirius struggles to keep his temper. It's not his style to hold his tonight, but he does for Remus.

He's so _offended_ on Remus' behalf that he wants to say something, but Remus has asked him not to, so he forces himself to be quiet. He holds the comments in because he doesn't want to make this harder for 's going to prove he can do this for his friend, even if he doesn't like the situation anymore. He wants nothing more than to somehow crush this man.

"Of course you do, but these interviews are part of our service," the man points out, his tone clearly expressing that he feels he's doing Sirius a massive favour by even meeting with him. Sirius imagines that the man truly believes that he's doing Remus a favour, and he starts to really dislike this man. They'll be having words when Sirius is back in his own body - Sirius will make sure of that. "They expect a certain amount of people to be sent to the interviews and you're required to go."

Sirius holds his tongue. Remus has strict orders. Go in, agree to one interview and leave without saying anything bad. Don't accept any job offers.

The man opens the nearby file with Remus' name on.

"Right then, we've got quite a few to pick from. Firstly, we need a live-in cleaner for Azkaban."

Sirius doesn't know what to say. He stares at the man, and Archibald takes this as an indication that Sirius wants more information. He pulls a sheaf of parchment towards him. "Now, it's minimum wage, but I'm sure it's better than what you're getting already." He gives Sirius a pitying look. "You get room and board and an empty cell in which to transform. The main duties include mucking out the cells - some of the prisoners have lost their minds there so they do tend to forget they have a loo, also—"

"Pass," Sirius quickly says.

The man looks annoyed now. Clearly he thought that role was a winner. He grabs the next sheaf of parchment. "Ah, this is an excellent role. You'll be working at St. Mungos."

Sirius perks up slightly. St. Mungos doesn't sound too bad. Perhaps it'll be a role that Remus actually wants. He knows Remus would love to work in the wizarding world.

"The official job title is Ablution Representative," Archibald states. "You'll be working with various departments of the hospital and providing your department's services. You'll be working with a team of three people and of course you'll be the junior of the department, but—"

"Wait," Sirius says. "Ablution? What exactly is that?"

Archibald looks annoyed that Sirius has interrupted him. "It's cleaning," he says, as though talking to someone stupid. "My apologies, Mr. Lupin, I have in my notes that you actually attended school so thought you'd understand such a basic word." Sirius opens his mouth to respond, but Archibald has already returned to his parchment.

"There is a lot of manual work here. You'll be cleaning sheets, bedpans, nightgowns and really anything that you get called for. You might get called up if a patient has been sick, or for conditions that tend to be really… leaky." He shudders. "Bodily fluids and things like pus and…" he trails off as he looks up at Sirius' expression. "May I remind you that these are jobs in important facilities in the Wizarding World. With your… restrictions and needs, you're lucky we've even procured these positions for those suffering from Lycanthropy."

Sirius recalls Remus telling him to accept any job interview just to get out of the meeting and Sirius is glad that Remus doesn't have to actually accept one of these jobs. He doesn't want to hear anything more about the roles they think are suitable. Remus deserves an excellent job based on his merits, rather than the worst jobs that no-one else would take.

"I'll go to that interview," Sirius mutters.

"Wonderful." Archibald tidies the parchment and makes a note on Remus' file before closing it and setting it aside. "You'll get the interview information via owl. Good day, Mr. Lupin."

Sirius stands and leaves as quickly as he can. He's never going to complain about his job again, because it could be so much worse.

~O~

"I took the best of the two," Sirius says with a shudder as he sits at his desk in one of the empty chairs that have been arranged around it.

"Tell me."

"Well, you can either clean up prisoner shit or patient shit," Sirius explains, not wanting to go into massive detail. Remus doesn't look surprised at the words, merely rolling his eyes. "But I have a feeling you don't want to have room and board at Azkaban for the first one."

Remus snorts. "You sound disgusted but trust me, I've been offered much worse. When's the interview?"

"They'll owl you," Sirius responds. "How do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Just go through every day like this?"

Remus shrugs. "I don't have a choice. I'm a werewolf - so if I want to be a part of this world, I have to accept that this is what life is like for people like me." He sees the look on Sirius' face and continues, wanting to explain himself. "I've been dealing with this for years, Sirius. Sometimes days are better than today has been and sometimes they're a lot worse than this. I can't change anything and there's no use complaining about it to anyone or to you guys, so I just get on with it. It's worth it because I get to be in the wizarding world, I get to spend my days with you."

"Is this why you won't date me?" Sirius asks. The thought has been running through his mind since leaving the meeting downstairs. "Because I'm privileged and you don't like that? Because I'll never understand what you go through?" He tries not to let his tone sound like he's accusing Remus. He just seeks an answer.

Remus lets out a long sigh, pushing dark hair from his eyes again. "It's not that you're privileged. That's not the word I'd use to describe you. It's because you can barely manage the smallest slight against you. Sirius, you've only had to be me for a few hours, and once James comes back, you'll be yourself again and won't have to face all this crap anymore. But if we were dating, people would treat you as badly as they treat me."

"But—" Sirius begins.

"But you'll be facing people staring at you, talking behind your back. The odd comment about Bestiality and basically you'll be as much a social pariah as I am. If you can't handle your brother laughing at your shoes, how can you manage that? I don't want to ask that of you - it's not fair for me to put you in that position. You'd be hated because of me, and I can't allow that."

"You won't date me because you think I can't handle things people will say?" Sirius repeats, shocked.

Remus snorts. "You can't handle when your tea is too hot." His voice softens slightly. "And I thought that if we did date, you'd see how bad things could really be and I'd lose you completely."

Sirius wants to tell Remus that he'd never lose him. James approaches, clutching the stones from the previous day. "Kingsley worked it out almost immediately," James says. "I thought we'd be here all day trying to work this situation out, but it was actually really easy. Kingsley procured these yesterday and I remember seeing you both touching them. I just need to know which one of you wished what and then we can reverse the spell."

Remus pales as he remembers. "It was me," he offers reluctantly.

"I need to know the exact words," James says, turning his attention Remus' way. "It'll be easier to put things right if you tell me what you wished or requested."

"I… I wished…" Remus hesitates for a long time, clearly not wanting to repeat the words. "My exact thought was: 'I wish Sirius could spend a day in my life. He'd see how hard things really are.' But I never wanted to actually… I'm so sorry, Sirius." He sounds devastated at having caused this whole situation and gives Sirius a pleading look, begging him not to be mad.

Sirius shakes his head, dark blond hair falling into his amber eyes. "No, you're quite right," he says, though he does feel a little hurt, he tries his hardest to see this from Remus' perspective. "I needed to see how things really are."

"You're not mad?" Remus asks. "But I've upset you." He's trying to hide his own hurt, and it sounds strange for him to do that whilst using Sirius' voice.

"I'm fine," Sirius assures him, not wanting Remus to be any more upset than he already is. A day ago, he'd be complaining about how horrible his day has been, but he doesn't want to do that. He's only gone through a few hours - and Remus does this everyday. Remus made the wish for a reason, and Sirius understands why.

His own life worries pale in comparison - and yes, he's hurt. Hurt that Remus won't date him because Sirius has never taken the time to see what Remus goes through, and hurt that Remus wanted Sirius to go through the same.

But more than anything, he's angry at himself because in all the years of friendship, he's never _noticed_ what Remus goes though because he's always been so wrapped up in himself. But now that's going to change.

"I'm not mad at you," he promises. "It's just a lot to take in."

"James, can we fix this now?" Remus checks.

James nods, holding out his gloved hands with the stones.

"Think the same words as before," James orders as Sirius and Remus take one each. "I'll cast the reversal spell."

Remus nods his head. He makes the wish and the stone vibrates under his touch and warms when James taps his wand to it.

"You'll be good by morning," James says, taking the stones back.

"Does the boss know what's happened?" Sirius checks.

"Yeah. You're free to go home," James informs him. "Both of you, go and have fun."

They both leave the ministry quickly, but once they reach their flat, they go their separate ways - both needing time to themselves.

~O~

"So… interview today," Sirius says, breaking the silence that had fallen over the pair since the previous day. They had barely uttered a word to each other, both having a lot on their minds. Sirius had a lot to think about and take in - especially with Remus having made the wish in the first place, and Remus had just wanted to get away from Sirius and forget that the day had ever happened - forget that he had ever made the wish.

Sirius knows he'll never forget. He doesn't feel bad about this - he will remember because it's what caused him to find out what Remus' life is really like. No - it'll give him a slight bit of insight because he knows he can't pretend to understand how hard Remus' life is just after one day. But it's opened his eyes a lot and now he can see things for how they are.

Also, he knows _why_ Remus won't date him. He finally has an explanation. He's gone through so many theories over the last few years… but now it's clear and Sirius doesn't have to spend time trying to make plans to convince Remus or show Remus, because he sees where the problem lies.

"Yeah. Eight," Remus replies quietly. He shifts closer to Sirius as someone pushes roughly past him. "They have to arrange it around my actual job. They're only sending us so that they can issue a report stating they've set up interviews for however many werewolves. But they're good about scheduling the interviews early - it'd look bad if they caused me to lose a job and they are very aware of that. I'll get to work on time."

Sirius nods as Remus is bumped closer. He hates this, hates the way Remus is treated and just accepts it. He notices the way that people move carefully around him, scared to bump someone from the Black family.

"Your wish yesterday…" Sirius begins. "I have to ask. Do you… I mean would you do it again?"

"Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably." Remus looks sorry as he says the words. "I'd never wish for that life on you, but just for you to see things through my eyes like yesterday. But the wish is over and done with now." Someone barges into Remus and he stumbles against Sirius, before righting himself. "But where does this leave us? How do we move on from this? We… we _can_ move on from it though, Right?"

"Come here." Sirius grabs Remus' hand, pulling him closer until their arms are touching, but he doesn't let go. It takes Remus a moment to realise that Sirius is still holding, and he stops walking in the middle of the Atrium, his eyes moving to their joined hands.

"I'll walk you to the Support Service office," Sirius says, trying to sound relaxed and calm. Inside, he's anything but. He's holding Remus' hand. Yes, he's held it in the past, but the intentions are very different today. The promise of a relationship lingers in the air and he wants Remus to be selfish this once and agree to a date.

"Sirius," Remus begins, with a sigh, trying to pull his hand away.

"You told me your reasons for saying no," Sirius points out, his voice gentle. If Remus really doesn't want to date him, he'll accept that but he knows Remus feels the same and he needs to at least tell Remus that he's happy for the world around him to change, just so he can be with him. The words are a struggle to get out. "But you're not aware of one thing."

"What?"

"I don't care if they like me, only if you do," he insists softly. "Fuck what all these strangers think of me. You're worth it."

"Am I?" Remus asks. He stops trying to pull his hand away. "You can handle people treating you like crap?"

"Remus, I can handle anything as long as I'm with you." He leads Remus through the Ministry, already aware of eyes on them. Remus is worth everything. "You underestimate how I feel about you, or underestimate quite how important you are. I can handle anything because I'll have you." He wants to stop again, run his fingers through dark blond hair and place a kiss to Remus' lips like he's imagined for the longest of times. He wants to find a way to prove at that moment that he'd take on the world if that's what it took to be with Remus.

They continue walking, hand in hand. "And if it becomes too much, you'll… you'll tell me. You won't just…" Remus trails off but Sirius knows what he's asking.

"I'll tell you," he promises. "Though it'll never be too much."

"At least you'll have something big to complain about," Remus murmurs jokingly.

"I don't complain that much," Sirius insists mildly.

"You're always complaining." Remus assures him. "But I don't want our relationship to be the cause of complaints."

"No complaints," Sirius replies, thrilled that Remus has already referred to it as a relationship. "I'm choosing this and I won't have a single complaint because I get to be with you."

"One date," Remus murmurs, his lips curving upwards at the very corners in a beautiful way. "So… you've matured a lot since…"

"Since yesterday? Yeah, well… maybe I understand the world a little bit better now." Sirius grins. He knows it's going to be much more than one date. "So… did you take a peek?"

Remus' cheeks turn red and Sirius knows Remus is aware of what he's talking about. But try as he might, Remus doesn't say a single word about it. His hand moves from Remus' hand and wraps around his waist, holding Remus as close as possible. The Ministry is feeling overcrowded once more but Sirius can handle that - he can handle anything as long as he's with Remus.

Remus is worth it.

~O~

_The door shuts behind Sirius and James, and Remus clutches the pillow against himself._

_Sirius' naked body and he just got a _look_. He can't believe he's finally seen Sirius naked._

_He glances down at the pillow and wonders if he should look again. Sirius said it was fine to do so, but Remus never thought it would happen like this._

_They've flirted and there's a tension between them. He knows Sirius wants him and he can't deny to himself that he wants Sirius too, but he's not going to take that risk. Sirius is as bright as a star. Remus is a monster. Sirius deserves happiness. Remus… he lets out a sigh. "Monsters don't get to live happily ever after," he whispers to himself, reminding himself of how the world sees him._

_But right now, he's not a monster. He's Sirius. Until they find out what's happened, he can have one carefree day without the usual worries that life brings. The idea makes him smile. One day where he can act like Sirius Black. What would Sirius do in this situation?_

_He looks down at the pillow again. He has no doubts that Sirius is parading around his bedroom right now in the nude._

_The pillow gets tossed to the end of the bed and Remus walks towards the bedroom door, his gaze on the mirror behind it._

_A quick look wouldn't hurt at all._

* * *

**6428 words**


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